I'm in the closet. It's dark and maybe all the air gets sucked outta here in the flame from my lighter. There was all this shit I had planned and then I got your letter. This place locks from the inside and everybody's perfume mixes and makes me sick. Hours and hours. I got hours, baby sister. Just for you. I got something. I got something I wanna tell you.
What'd you buy? Anything? When I buy shit from a convenience store, I swing it all the way around. Annoys the shit outta Adam me swinging my bag around to feel the physics. Gets me hard. Gun slinging, key spinnin me to you and you to Adam and Adam to you and you to Nick and Nick to you and you to me. Fuck yeah. Mmmmmman you feel it comin around?
No matter what I got in my pockets, it's comin out.
Shit Evie you know it's like with a little obedience we coulda been a couple of swift tools, you and me. But our delineation started when we found out we didn't much like the hands to hold us, the hand that rocks the cradle, flips the switch, the ties that bind. Outskirts is where we live now.
It's what people like that says more about them than what they don't like. Jack liked when I bought her shit and not because it made her feel special but because it made me look special and $500 shoes are fucking special. There's girls who want the shoes for the shoes. That's a good woman. There's girls who want the shoes for the lifestyle. That's a good woman too. Nothin wrong with that. Then there's girls who want the shoes to say to somebody she's got the shoes and the lifestyle and the hot shit boyfriend. Ownership papers of figmental idols of ultimate sexual and financial power. Promise her the world and see which parts of it she keeps. Always knew Bonnie was special cuz you promise that bitch the world and know what she keeps? The rotten and the bare parts. Hah
Know how I knew about Jack? She introduced me as the man behind the money. Now I know people make mistakes. Three strikes, you're out.
Promise a boy a fantasy and see how far he takes it. Bad ones take it far enough to get a little validation. Bad ones take it far enough somebody else has to clean up after them. Good ones take it far enough they scare themselves.
Fine tuning, sure. Like breathing. I can throw it on, sure. Just like the jeans they said they liked on me. When you say you like me in something it never sounded like a fucking joke. That's how I know. Simple as that. You got a nice ass, Evie. Sound like a joke? It just sooouuuuunds different. I don't pretend I'm infallible, my love, but guess what, baby? Never fuckin been wrong.
I can't get a letter from you without wearing it down to nothing in my fist, fucking my other hand for you. I'm crying right now tho. You know real hope when you see it? Think my eyes have gotta be made filled up with it because it burns when I cry. I look what my love gets me and there's a broken something in my lap and blood. I look what your love got you and I kiss your little knuckles in your sleep.
Yeah, I know what you mean, Evie. I love you so much I love you so fucking much I fucking do.
What's hard? Show it to me and see if I love it. You fuckin tell me Evie. Do I love it? You know what's real. Just put the dog out and see where it goes and what it does. 10 bucks says he goes to shit, eat and fuck. Yeah, I'll hold it. Belongs right here.
If you lied, I bet I liked it too.
This place locks from the inside. You know that? The scratches on a door are always in the side without the lock. We're on the side with the lock and none of the scratches are ours.
Hey, Evie. Whatcha thinkin about?