Last night I dreamed I was in a room with Adam and we were just hanging out and being together. It was nice. I was kissing him and he was telling me something about a movie with no names and how we were like that. I could hear sirens outside and screaming and kept asking what it was and he kept saying nothing. Nevermind. Stay here with me. Don't go out there.
Finally, I said "tell me what that is...I know that sound."
He let my hand go and said, "Just a nightmare. I thought it was so much nicer here. But you're right. It could be important. Something we should know."
We stood up and got dressed and I realized that the room was part of a ruin. A building that had burned down. The door was charred and cracked open a little.
"I know this door," I said. "It's from the fire. This must be my nightmare."
He shook his head.
"It's mine. I know it is."
We walked out into the street and I realized I was near my home. My mom's. we were walking uphill, not getting tired. I was animated at first telling him they must be mixing again, his and mine, but he didn't smile. He knew what was happening.
Something had come and taken the firstborn. The parents in all the houses were bringing them out and putting then on the lawns and sobbing. I was crying and could barely see. He may have been too.
"What happened?" I asked him. He choked out the word.
I saw a girl. Brown hair, with glasses, chubby. She had.....I can't tell you. But she hadn't died of sickness.
"What plague does that?" I asked him on my knees next to her. He pulled me back up and wrapped his arms around me and apologized over and over.
"We should've stayed. I'm so sorry. This is my fault. I knew the sounds."
While we stood there I realized something and got cold. I pulled back and looked in his eyes. He knew what I knew.
"Don't," he said. "Please don't. It doesn't change. We can go back."
I struggled with him but he held me there.
"He could be ok," I said hysterical. "It could be alright," I fought him to let me go.
"It doesn't change, Eve. Not ever."
He looked completely grim and hopeless. I shoved him away and ran up the street. I knew if I could get there in time...I got to a tiny blue house and ran inside. I was screaming a name I don't remember. The house was torn apart by something. I found him under the rubble.
He was wearing a yellow onesie and looked asleep and I was afraid to touch him. Nothing had been done to him. He hadnt been hurt or marked like the chubby girl. I just sat there for a second, looking down at him. His cheeks were flushed and looked warm but I was still afraid to touch him.
I could hear Adam behind me, coming in to the house. I could hear his breath. He stayed by the door. He sounded calm. His voice was quiet. All the other sounds were gone.
"I..." was all he said at first. I think I'd stopped crying.
"I sometimes dream," he said slowly, "that everything...good...is ruined. Sometimes. Its you here. Or me. Or..."
He put his hand on my shoulder. Something was digging into my knee on the floor.
"Please," he said. "I don't want to know this part. We can leave. Please."
Then the baby coughed. I grabbed him and picked him up and held him so I could see his face. He had plaster dust in his hair. A scrape on his cheek. His eyes opened, strange and alien like baby eyes. Dark. I felt the shock go through Adam's body. I pressed the baby to my chest and stood up. He was so happy and surprised.
"How did this happen?" He asked me.
I looked into the baby's eyes again for a long moment and then turned back to Adam.
"He's a lion," I said. Adam kissed me again and the dream went away thank god.
I woke up crying. Freezing cold. Mixed up. I guess I never stopped to wonder if someone's nightmares were worse than mine. Or maybe it was our nightmare. Or maybe just mine and he's seen it before. Anyway. I didn't go back to sleep again.