Dear Diana-

Hey. You ever step into something like someplace and get your foot caught but not caught enough you can’t get out and you shake off the vines but you feel like you gotta turn back and tug on it just to see how much it gives or where it came from that pulled you down like that and why it let go and where it ends and who it swallowed before and how long they’ve been decaying in there? Yeah I could smell it before I got there. I knew I was in the right place because I always know where you’re going to be that you don’t even know you are. I know where you are even if you don’t fuckin know it yourself ok? I’m the one who knows it cuz I can fuckin smell it. Just like you know where I am. The Amazons sing and you taught me all the songs.

I’m shit scared right now. All your nightmares are gonna tell you this is one way that it just ain't. Just like mine are telling me I’m too late and you’re gonna be too angry. Yeah and the movies and the book and some thrilling fuckin take by some superfan somewhere in bumfuck Iowa that gets attention only for the shock value of his particularly fantastic interpretation. But hey, you need to know the truth and from the horse’s mouth and it's my job to tell you because we’re together in this and you would tell me if you remembered. So I gotta tell you cuz I remember. i didn’t really read the comics or anything so idk what’s in there and what isn’t so fuck me, right? but anyway. Yeah i guess i think you’re sick of me so this could make you pretty sure you don’t wanna see me for awile and that’s alright, just thank you for coming to the movie with me, i made it for us and i know i fucked up not telling you anything and i’m sorry. fuck god damn am i really sorry diana, i am really. I’m sorry. I’m a real shit. it’s not like matthew doesn’t figure or anything you know he IS you and gradys home planet and everything. He jus t couldn’t get away from this other place he wanted to go while you were looking for me. And iit is me you were looking for baby. It’s always gonna be me i said that a lot. If i didn’t say a lot of other shit at least i said that a million fuckin times.

The moon is what’s left of krypton and actually it’s started growing a bunch of stuff again and grady says that’s thanks to you and him and time healing all wounds. I really used to think that shit was so stupid, time healing anything. bullshit is does. Yeah but not now that i saw what happened to a dead fuckin planet. I never really thought the moon wa s so fuckin special till i started going back out to the treehouse at night to look when i thought maybe and even being a wolf an d all that howling and shit it just didn’t occur to me that that world was spilling all this recycled light down on us in the darkest fucking places we’ve been. That it could still be alive or even fighting for life like matthew’s pasty ass clawing his way out of every grave we put him in.

Nothing you ever felt before is a secret to me. I could see all this shit for a long time. as long as you evie. The minute you knew who you were I did too and I knew who that made me.

I never felt so much like a particle of dust as I do right now thinking about we might have missed each other. It doesn't just happen that two beings from totally different worlds could find each other like we did. If anything made me want to inject you into me to keep you forever like asking you to make me what you are it's that.

I made this movie for you cuz i needed to tell you and I tried so hard to keep you away from the trailer for as long as I could but w/e. You saw it and you went straight to Matthew and I don't blame you at all for that ok but I been wanting to gut that pussy bitch ever since that day and it's taken all of my patience not to. I love you and I just hope you like the movie and I'm making really big moves to forgive Matthew for you too.

krypton is heartbreak and that makes sense cuz you know rosie is real heartbreaking and she comes from that, she’s a gem inside of matthew and it was the pieces broken off of him that made all the roses in the garden anyway and virginity cuz you can’t have virginity until you have a way to lose it. something to impale yourself on right?

I went back there when I knew about us. When it's like the weather gets just right for the branches blocking out the sun to pass in time with my heart beat. It's what I always thought seizing would feel like if fainting always makes me cry you know? But you get there and it's just the river but with this extra thing about it that means it knows it's a secret paradise. Something peacocky I guess and it's not like I grew up there anymore, it feels like it's welcoming me as a stranger and it is you know cuz I'm not your brother anymore and I'm not even from the same world. I'm an alien. but being two different species doesn't make our love sexy in the forbidden way it looks to some people. Not. At. All. It isn't like that cuz yeah I'm human but we are the same and you let me into your world and I take it on cuz it makes a lot more sense like in a spiritual way than anything else I knew before. Yeah I never read the comics but that's probably not something that gets said about me. But what do I know? It might.

The spiritual thing about me and kryptonians is that I never saw the male female thing either. Girl power yeah alright cool but that's not real. Straight up Female is just something we have here on earth but it gets in the way but dont fuckin let it.

I don't mean it like a put down to the human race or anything like that but we are not emotionally or intellectually ready to lose our systems of government but they do need to evolve you know evolve with the needs of the people being governed. By the time we think we got something down and we know how to behave ourselves and help ourselves and get everything we need everything we need has changed so much that nothing applies anymore and there we are with our dicks in our hands and with enemies we shouldn't have.

Rosie knew I knew something and that day when you asked me about it I didn't lie. Nothing was wrong and you could trust me. I just couldn't tell you right then. I really need you to know I know how ridiculous you felt but I couldn't tell you like that. Like I was trying to just make things better. And I couldn't tell you not to talk to Matthew because I had to fuckin way of knowing what would happen. I mean it shouldn't have been bad you know he's fucking Hades. He's Hell himself so I thought it might be good you know? You always knew Hell and the devil and all that had something to do with this.

But nobody asked me why the American flag meant the devil to me and that's kinda good cuz I don't think I could have even answered that until now. But now I can tell you why. It's what we are together me and you in our army and our love and marriage. It's our fuckin royalty and legacy and work as the king and queen of justified. All the political systems of the world. We are Americans fuckin patriots and America is Hell.

You said it was sadhow we give birth and die and give birth and die and how it’s like shining a light on only one part of something at once or a braid undoing itself as it gets wound. You cried and said the the braided existence of the human race and touched the water and let me fuck you from behind into the ground and then you had this mud on your thighs you put in my hand and said if i wanted us to be married to each other we would have to find out how to fall in love by falling out of love. you rubbed my cum in the mud and said it would grow us a baby and i remembered when you dug up benjamin thats how its fuckin done. Only Diana has babies that way, my fucking princess. Dont worry I didn’t tell adam he had a baby with wonder woman, I’ll let you break that to him yourself.

I made it so nobody really saw it when we got married and I did that on purpose. Hey don’t be mad please. I did it cuz nobody knows what we did to each other inside to get where we are not really. I know you wrote some stuff down about it but they don’t know. They can’t know for really real what we were doing and that’s nobodys fuckin business alright so if you ask anybody what it was like when we got married you’re gonna hear a lot of bullshit because i made it so everybody saw just the surface version. It’s a tradition you gave to me when you took me to the island and taught me what you were made of and how you could fuckin taste it in me too. Yeah you remember it.  I know you do. All that shit we couldn’t get right and all the different  pieces to prove we didn’t fit was good for it. Real good like plucking some tight twine to see if it’ll snap right? Yeah right, like that. When i said i wanted to be married to you, you took me to your island to show me who you were. Dyou remember? I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner I’m a chicken shit. But how could you fuckin think Matty was about you and fuckin matthew? w/e it’s alright, i deserve that. I don’t care anymore just so long asyou get that i’m taking it back. I’m taking it away from him cuz it’s mine just like you. Yeah i can feel you thinking real hard about it already so hard that your heart ends up in my throat. I know how scared you are of what more I could say here and I’m gonna say a lot more ok?

These rituals, every ritual we ever did put some of me in you and I know it scares you, it scares me too but I'm always gonna take care of you like you take care of me ok?

-Steve

Comment